1 question to determine if a narc is a narc

Gosh! This video brought back another piece of memory that I didn’t understand at that time, but now I finally understand through re-examining that piece of memory with my new acquired knowledge on narcissism.

When “Good Will Hunting” first came out in theaters, my parents went to watch it in theater. Actually, I was very surprised because I couldn’t recall any time that they went to a theater. They have pretty much looked down on any form of popular art. (another red flag? They always think popular tastes in art are inferior to their tastes) Maybe one of their acquaintances told them it’s a good movie and recommended them to see it?

Anyhow, because I was so surprised, after they came back from the theater, I asked them, “What do you think about the movie?” I had watched it earlier in another city with my friends. They answered, “It’s not a good movie, there are too many F-words.”

Immediately, I was speechless & bewildered. How come the only thing they remembered was the F-word?? I was only a young college student and so were my friends. We “got” the message “Good Will Hunting” tried to convey. How come my parents couldn’t get the movie at all? The only thing they remembered was the F- word, and just because of the F-word, they concluded it’s a bad movie??

I didn’t know what to say to them, so the conversation just stopped there. I was simply speechless.

At that time, I didn’t understand. Now I do. Their response indeed shows the kind of people they are, narcs, in short, because narcs don’t know anything about emotion, don’t know anything about being hurt, don’t know anything about how frightening it is for the victim to admit his/her injury and to seek help. That’s why they can’t get the message. Also, they judged the movie simply by the surface- the actor’s lines, just as they only judge people by their appearances. This shows how shallow and narrow-minded narcs are.

I know it’s a cliche to say “knowledge is power”, but I do feel that gaining knowledge on narcissism begins to empower me little by little to see my reality with more clarity.


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