Forgive yourself not forgiving

Rebellious Scapegoat

Resentment keeps you locked in the past and

steals your life in the present.

I would like to share my controversial thoughts on one of taboos today : Forgiveness.

As an abused survivor, I’m always hungry to soak up knowledge, figuring out how it happens, what to do and how to handle.  Majority of advice lean toward the idea that victims MUST forgive things happened to them, even suggested by well-known professionals / experts / coaches.

It puts tremendous pressure on victims’ shoulders because now it becomes victims’ responsibilities / abilities to manage their anger after abuse, which sadly can make them feel more stuck in emotions.  If you don’t want to be judged as “small-minded”, then you have to pretend as a “forgivable”, “open-minded” person.  Don’t say bad things about your abusers, only focus on forget everything and forgive.

Personally, I don’t support forgiveness is the must-requirement for healing.   Hurt / pain is such an individual…

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