Sense of Self & How to Set Boundaries (YouTube)

Not being able to say “No” is my biggest weakness, thus leaving me constantly being taken advantage of at work. For years, I had thought the problem is with me only. Only recently after I found out about NPD, it hit me that the inability to say no was conditioned by my narc parents since my early childhood. They never wanted me to say no to them, and if I dared to express my NO through anger or mild rebellion, I’d be punished! So you can imagine, it’s their intention not to teach me how to say no so they could use me as a slave to take care of their other children, do house chores, and take care of my ill grandfather as I was growing up. Yet, my mother is a stay-home full-time housewife! She would impose all the above responsibility on me, and then took all the credits to herself in front of my father of other relatives. Very often, the thought of “it’s ok for me to say No” has never crossed my mind after years of being conditioned by both narc parents. Since I just found out about NPD 1 month ago, I’m still in the process of grieving & occasionally feeling angry over how could they treat me like that! I had no childhood at all. My perception of reality was severely distorted by them (Yea, gaslighting & using gestures/disdainful look to belittle me are my NM’s favorite). I know this message is a bit long, yet no one around me understands what NPD parents are like, and I have long given up for anyone around me to believe that my parents can be so cruel and evil, since they are so good at keeping a socially perfect image to outsiders.

 

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