Ever since I heard Lisa A. Romano mentioned that the brain waves of children are the same as those in the hypnotic state, and Dr. Bruce Lipton also mentioned this in one of his YouTube videos, I’ve been thinking maybe this is why it’s so difficult to get rid of flashbacks! More specifically, between 2-6 years, our brainwaves are Theta Waves, the same as hypnotic state. Between 7-12 years, Alpha Waves (some say between 5-8 years), the period when we begin conscious learning (so a good timing to start school).
However, if all we receive is neglect, rejection & disdain from our parents since infancy until 6 years old, i.e., we never receive any validation for our existence or emotions, then we are likely to be hypnotized into the unshakable belief that “I am invisible, I am reject-able, I am never good enough, I am disposable, I am worthless……” That’s why its’ SO DIFFICULT to stifle those flashbacks! And we are more or less powerless to control how & why those flashbacks occur suddenly on a seemingly normal day because we all had been hypnotized!! Since we are biologically set up by evolution to rely on mothers for survival, and daughters particularly look up to mothers for mirroring, this hypnotic brainwashing is utterly traumatic for daughters!! They basically form the foundation of our programming! Even after we start conscious learning at age 7, everything we learn is built upon the foundation of programming that “we are invisible, we are never good enough”— so everything we do inside & outside our homes is driven by the unconscious programming that “I am BAD (according to the hypnotized foundation of programming), so I must do the best to please others & fix problems (even if I’m not responsible for those problems) to prove to others that I am GOOD, or I don’t deserve any validation or anything good in life”. Thus, we develop very SERIOUS codependency disorder! Well, just my theory!
It’s not like we survivors deliberately recall those hurtful memories of being abused by our parents, siblings or partners. No one likes to recall those memories! But most of the time, just when we feel we are going through a normal working day, certain flashbacks just pop up out of the blue. As a narc survivor & empath, I am just beginning to learn how to control or reign these flashbacks. Sometimes, it’s annoying that people who have never gone through similar abuse tell us to “get over it” or “why don’t you forgive your parents? They are aging!” — they don’t understand flashbacks are not something humans can just “get over it” because as I wrote, we had been hypnotized by our narc parents!!