Control Tactics

Very true & practical! I’ve experienced all of them. My parents are the masters of almost all of them, except the first one “Coming on too strong”. They still hold on to the illusion (more like delusion since they are really psychologically abnormal?) that they have owned me since I was a baby, so they have never bothered to pretend that they like me. It’s kind of paradoxical, since they want to keep me in their full control, shouldn’t they at least pretend to be nice to me so that I didn’t get driven away by their bullying? That’s really shallow of them. It seems the more you know about your narcs, the more you realize they are indeed very shallow or even empty inside, just soulless.

However, I have met friends & bosses who exhibited “coming on too strong”. One of such so-called friends later became a little bit of a stalker while I tried to distance myself from her, which was really scary for me back then in my early 20s. Thank God it happened in my university, and in order to protect myself, I talked to a few of my closer normal friends & one of my professors about the horrible situation. Going public was the only way to protect myself at that time. A few months later, after I finally “shook her off”, I heard she became “intimate” with another girl in our department. Yet, it was only in another few months that the girl she acquainted found out she was very odd, & she even came to me for help after hearing about what the “odd” girl did to me. She wanted to know how I got myself out of the awful situation. So, indeed, “coming on too strong” is a very obvious & bad sign. If anyone you just meet shows this sign, run ASAP!

CynthiaBaileyRug

Being raised by narcissists, I learned early in life how to be a good victim.  So good, I’ve been in relationships (friends, romantic & even family) with many abusive people.  Not all were narcissists, but they all shared something in common- their need to control me.

Not all controlling people are narcissists, but all narcissists are controlling.  Learning to recognize various methods people use to control others can help you to understand what is happening & react accordingly.

Coming on too strong.  When you first meet someone & they immediately want to be your best friend or start talking of marriage right away, this is a bad sign.  I once had a friend who upon meeting said we were going to be best friends, & she was extremely controlling.  The same for a man I once dated who started talking marriage within a month of meeting.

They expect you to…

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