Very useful tips!! I wish I had known these in my 20s or early 30s. But “I wish” isn’t going to change anything, right? No one can change the past. So, survivors, instead of wasting time thinking about “I wish…”, think about “what I choose to become”. As Car Gustav Jung’s saying goes (quoted on Jeannine’s blog), “I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become”.
BTW, Carl Jung is one of my favorite psychoanalysts.
My master thesis was a research on mother-daughter relationships in Margaret Atwood’s novels based on the theories of Melanie Klein & Donald Winnicott, yet at that stage, I didn’t see how Car Jung’s teachings could shed light on my psychological struggles. I always felt something was missing, also because I didn’t learn about NPD & Alice Miller when I was writing my thesis!
Sometimes I get ideas in my head and know that I must get up and type; otherwise I will never get to sleep. Having been one of these children and having recently had very moving conversations with another person who also felt this dread, I knew I must write about it. As a therapist, I feel responsible for airing out all those things which give us torment, so that we have a place to share, cry, and be heard. For having a parent who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you do not get the chance to do so.
A child who grows up with a parent who has NPD, has no parent at all. In fact, they have no self as well. The child’s life is consumed with pleasing the parent in a way that no other child, not sharing the same type of parent, can understand. Your childhood revolves…
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