It is so important to remind ourselves, especially those who were raised by 1 or 2 narc parents, that setbacks in our recovery are normal. For those of us who were fortunate enough to have been raised by narc parents (sarcasm intended) & grew up with siblings who chose to join the bullies, we have been brainwashed since the very first moment we began learning about the world, the first moment we learn how to perceive & speak our mother tongue– Let’s not forget languages determines our thoughts. Some might not disagree with me, which is fine, for I’m thinking about the reference to the linguistic theory of relativity in the sci-fi, Arrival.
“According to Sapir-Whorf, the structure of our language itself determines how we think and interact with the world around us. ”
If your mother tongue is English, or you are deeply influenced by Engligh/the western culture, you might very well think of time as a linear concept, and thus as time progresses, you might feel I must make progress as I enter a new stage of my life, as if time moves on, I must moves on, which is actually against our human nature & causes unnecessary self-blame, which we really don’t want to inflict upon ourselves, since self-blame is one of the most common effects caused by our abusers.
As a person who switch back & forth frequently between English & Mandarin Chinese on a daily basis, my thoughts fluctuate between linear and circular time frames. Recently I realized, every day I live in my childhood, my adolescence, my youth, my present, all at the same moment. It’s hard to explain, yet think about those famous English writers whose works focus on stream of consciousness– one of my favorite novelists, Virginia Woolf. As long as you’re human, there’s nothing wrong with making progress & experiencing setbacks at the same time. It only makes us more genuine, more empathetic, more connected to God.
I recently was talking recently with a lady about this very topic- can someone be completely healed of the effects of narcissistic abuse? We both shared the same opinion. With God, of course, all things are possible. However, to be completely healed isn’t necessarily the norm.
For one thing, narcissistic abuse infects every area of your being. The stress of it can affect you physically, such as developing high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney disease, or heart disease. The negativity & crazy making affect you mentally. So many victims feel like they’re crazy. Many lose their self esteem or live with depression & anxiety. A lot of victims live with PTSD or C-PTSD after leaving the relationship with a narcissist. Many people in a relationship with narcissists are affected financially. Narcissists see people as nothing more than tools to be used in whatever way benefits the narcissist, so many victims lose a great…
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